An Unconventional Summer Vacation
by OfficiallyNobody
Summary: Start with: Robin, AKA Dick Grayson. Add in: the other Bats, Red Arrow, Wally, one cat-from Catwoman herself-, a secret wedding that provides ample trolling, and the reasons why: Jason is a rebel, Steph is a hyperactive chatterbox, Cass is a ninja, Tim is a budding scientist, and Damian has earned being called a demon, and you get two months of fun...or at least no boredom...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This takes place after Performance, so Roy's accepted the entire Team, but then it ignores the rest of the series. Oh, and there are no none-Superboy clones (I just… No. Just NO.). Plus, Zatanna won't be in this. I'm sorry, but I just cannot write her AT ALL. **

**PS: I don't own. **

**-YJ-YJ-YJ-**

Wally yawned as he wandered into the kitchen for an early morning snack. He paused when he noticed that the TV was on, though, because he was pretty sure that everyone else was asleep.

"Rob?" he asked before noticing the four other kids curled up on the couch or directly in front of it. "Oh man. Dude, Rob, wake up."

"Whuh?" Dick asked, raising his head to blink his blue eyes tiredly at Wally. "Oh, hey Walls."

"You're not wearing a mask," Wally said, noticing that for the first time. "Or your shades."

"Yeah, Bruce finally trusts you all enough not to blow my cover," Dick replied before glancing at the TV. "Turn it down, Tim."

The seven year old complied, glancing over his shoulder to smile. "Hi, Wally."

"West," Jason, who had dyed his hair pink again, said in his usual aloof way of greeting. Cass just smiled at Wally, waving slightly as her hand petted the small cat that was seated on Dick's knee.

Damian looked up and just scowled before turning back to the cartoon.

Dick, noticing that Wally was about to ask him about it, answered the unspoken question. "We're spending this summer here at the Cave. Bruce already cleared with the League, and Roy will be here too to help keep an eye on the kids."

"I'm not a child, Grayson," Jason said, glaring at the older boy. "I can take care of myself."

"Humor me," Dick said, sliding out from under Damian and placing the toddler on the couch. "Wally and me are just going to be in the kitchen, okay guys?"

Tim and Cass nodded, but the cat jumped up onto Dick's shoulder, sitting here like a parrot.

Wally smirked. "Gift from Selina?"

"You have to ask?" Dick shot back, one hand reaching up to scratch the cat's ears. "Her name is Onyx. She was one of the kittens I rescued from the canal, so Selina figured that it was only appropriate to let me have her after she started following me all over the place when I was at her place."

"You went to her place?" Wally asked, full-out smirking now. "Dude."

"Hey, Selina's pretty cool, man," Dick defended. "Besides, she's been helping us out on patrol for a while now. So sometimes we just hang out at her place when Batman decides that the two of us are done for the night."

"All that's all it is?"

"Yes." Dick's tone clearly implied that the conversation was over.

_"Recognizing Red Arrow B06." _

"Hey Roy," Dick said. "Thanks for agreeing to help out."

"Well, what else could I do?" Roy asked. "Force you to rely on Wally for backup?"

"Hey!"

Dick cackled at Wally's indignant look and held out his hand for a high-five, which Roy gave him. The archer paused then, though, and stared at Onyx. "There's a cat on your shoulder."

"Yeah, apparently it was a gift from _Selina_," Wally said with a grin, taking any opportunity to get back at Dick for countless pranks and teasing insults.

"…Catwoman gave _you_ a cat," Roy deadpanned.

"Not like she was going to give me an actual robin," Dick retorted with a cocky smirk. He grew a little bit more serious. "Onyx was one of my rescuees."

"Ah," Roy said, looking away from the small cat to notice that Dick's 'siblings' were seated on and in front of the couch. "You know, you didn't mention _why_ all of you are here…"

"Yeah Rob," Wally said. "Why are you all here?"

Dick just smirked and headed to the training room. "You can find out when I tell the rest of the team."

-YJ-

"Do either of you mind explaining why there are four kids in the living room?" Artemis asked, glaring at both Wally and Roy.

"Rob and his sibs are spending summer vaca at the Cave," Wally explained as he flicked through the science magazine. "At the moment, that's all we know, because Rob refuses to tell us anything else."

Artemis raised an eyebrow, but she accepted the explanation. However, she did turn her full attention to Roy. "So what's your story?"

"I'm here to help keep an eye on the kids," Roy explained, although he didn't look up from his solitaire game.

"I'm not a kid!" Jason protested. "I'm ten years old, and furthermore…"

"You're the Red Hood, yeah yeah, we get it," Wally said. "But Rob's a kid, and he's three years older than you, so your argument isn't really going anywhere, dude."

Jason scowled, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him from lunging at Wally. "No one is going to treat you like a baby, so relax, Jason," Dick said, having 'pulled a ninja move' and entering the kitchen in time to prevent any fighting.

With another scowl, Jason retreated back to the couch.

"He's got a bit of a bad temper," Artemis said before she looked over at Robin. She couldn't help but jump back a little with a squeak when she did so, though. "What the…?"

"I finally convinced Batman to let me tell you guys my civilian identity," Dick explained, grinning because he knew exactly why Artemis had squeaked.

"You, you… Freaking troll!" she accused, glaring at the younger boy. "All this time we were at the same school, and you, you… Ugh!"

"I did say we would laugh about this one day," Dick said, grinning.

Artemis just narrowed her eyes at him before leaving the room.

"Dude, she goes to Gotham Academy?" Wally asked. "Huh. You really do learn something new every day."

Dick just grinned again. _Oh, Wally, you have no idea of what you'll have learned by day's end…_

-YJ-

Wally was bored. It had been half an hour since Artemis had arrived and the subsequent revelation that she knew Dick Grayson from school, but he had finished his magazine twenty minutes ago.

"Come on, guys," Dick said, pulling the other Bats away from the TV with Onyx back on his shoulder. "Breakfast time."

Wally took the opportunity to snatch the remote and started flipping through the channels, looking for something interesting.

"-Rubber ducky, you're the one-" _Kids show._

"-The stock market has recently-" _Boring._

"-Gotham's so-called 'most eligible' is no longer-" _News._

"-now, add in the-" _Wait, go back. Gotham's 'most eligible'?_

Quickly switching back to the news channel, Wally leaned in. "That's right, folks. His status changed from 'single' to 'married' one week ago when the secret wedding between Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle took place in a small chapel here in our very own Gotham City."

Wally blinked. Several times. He even pinched himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

"Wally, there are about two dozen pancakes done if you want some… Are you alright?" Roy asked, crouching down next to the elder of his two best friends and almost-brothers.

"Dude…" Wally said, pointing to the TV in shock.

Roy looked up only for his mouth to fall open. "But… That's…"

"Yeah," Wally said.

The pair exchanged a glance before both were on their feet. "ROBIN!"

They were answered with the echo of one of the Boy Wonder's signature cackles.

**-YJ-YJ-YJ-**

**E/N: Yeah, so, this may seem a little… Yeah, I'm not entirely what I was thinking when I came up with this. I was trying to figure out how Robin/Dick could have the craziest summer anyone had ever seen. **

**So, let me know what you think while I type up the next chapter, m'kay? **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So, yeah, the amount of feedback I've already gotten on this… Just wow, guys. Seriously, I have no idea how to respond to that. Oh, wait, yes I do. By posting this! ;P**

**-YJ-YJ-YJ-**

"You know that yelling for Dick isn't going to make him stop messing with you, right?" a new voice piped up, and Wally whirled about only to come face to face with the familiar blonde nine year old.

"Stephanie, what…? Wait, where you earlier? The others were on the couch with Dick, but you weren't there…" Wally said, realizing that for the first time.

"I just got over a cold, so Dick let me sleep in his room," Stephanie explained. "Are you yelling for him because of Dad and Selina? 'Cause if so, we weren't supposed to tell you about that. Dad thought it would be funny to see how Uncle Clark and the others reacted."

"And?" Roy asked. He might have only met Stephanie once or twice, but he knew enough on general Bat-behavior to tell when information was being withheld.

"…Dad didn't tell us until two days before the wedding," Stephanie relented. "He wanted to keep it quiet so that by the time the press found out, it would seem like him and Selina were on their honeymoon for the summer with us staying in England with Alfie. That way they couldn't bug him about it until September, and I think he's hoping that they'll have forgotten about it by then. Now did you say pancakes?"

Roy groaned slightly as he remembered why he didn't know Steph as well as he knew the others; she had a tendency to ramble. Still, he had made a promise… "Yeah. Come on."

"Waffles are better(1)," was her response, but she followed the archer to the kitchen anyway. She then squealed in happiness and nearly tackled Robin. "Dick! You made me waffles! Oh thank you thank you thank you!"

Wally just blinked before remembering why Roy had come to get him. "Hey! Wait for me!"

-YJ-

M'gann was used to sometimes strange things happening at Mount Justice. However, walking into the kitchen to find five children, one of whom couldn't have been more than four years old, Wally, Red Arrow, and Robin all rather sticky due to what appeared to be the remains of three syrup bottles, she gave up on any fragile hope for sanity that morning.

"Oh, hey Megan!" Robin said, and she couldn't help but notice that without his mask, his eyes were a very pretty shade of blue. Wait…

"You aren't wearing a mask," she couldn't help but point out. "Or sunglasses."

"Bats caved in," he replied, flashing her a grin. The next second, Wally screamed.

"OW! Dude, the demon just stabbed me with a fork! Again!" Wally shouted, clutching his now slightly bleeding hand while the youngest of the kids giggled.

"Damian, no stabbing," Dick said, wrestling the fork from his grip. "Wally, Damian's not a demon."

"Yeah, he's Mini-Bat!" the blonde piped up, grinning.

"…you gave him a hero name?" Roy asked, wondering why he had agreed to this. And it hadn't even been 24 hours yet!

"It's just a codename that we use when talking about him on patrols so that on the off-chance someone's listening in, they wouldn't understand," Dick said patiently, although he was grateful that Tim and Cass seemed fairly content to just eat their breakfast without fuss. "It's not like he has a costume."

Everyone except for Jason fell silent. The ten year old just snorted.

"…do **_not_** tell me that you guys made Damian a costume."

"We didn't!" Stephanie started, making Dick sigh with relief. He had too high of hopes, though, because Stephanie wasn't finished. "Alfred did. Do you wanna see him in it? He looks so cute!"

With a groan, Dick let his head fall on the table. "What was I thinking?" he muttered to himself.

"OW! BAD BAT DEMON!"

-YJ-

Over an hour later, everyone was finally clean of any syrup, bellies were full for the time being, and the kitchen had been tidied back up.

Of course, as soon as Dick made a move to go and take a nap after getting the other Bats to settle down and watch movies with M'gann and a hesitant Wally who refused to sit near Damian, Artemis reappeared.

_Well, at least she's not glaring so much,_ Dick thought. "Hey Artemis. Look, I'm sorry about the school thing, but while I couldn't tell you at the time, I knew that sooner or later…"

"Robin. Dick. It's fine," Artemis interrupted. "I was just cranky earlier, and I had already been off-balance because of your 'siblings'."

"…really?"

"Yeah. But speaking of siblings, they're the other wards of Wayne's, aren't they?" Artemis asked.

"Well… For the most part. Damian really is Bruce's son, though," Dick said. "And before you ask, yes, Bruce Wayne is Batman."

"…wait, you're seriously telling me that the kid who stabbed Baywatch twice and then tried to strangle Harper with a towel is Batman's biological _son_?" Artemis asked in disbelief. "How does that work out?"

"Damian was raised for a year by his mother and grandfather before he was dropped on the steps of Wayne Manor," Dick explained, flopping down in one of the kitchen chairs, Artemis following suit. "Besides, he _is_ a mini-Bruce… He's just 100% Bat."

"No offense, but he's a bit terrifying," Artemis said. "I mean, he's, what, two, three years old?"

"Three."

"Yeah. What kind of three year old can do the things he does?"

"Batman's kid."

"…touché."

-YJ-

Conner, who's sleeping habits involved staying up until midnight and getting up at ten, woke up to a rather loud 'conversation' from the living room. Once he got the doorway, though, he paused in confusion.

Wally, Roy, and Robin were there, the latter without anything to hide his identity, but there were also five other younger kids and a small, all black except for a little bit of white by her nose, on her chest, and white 'socks' on her front paws, cat. The cat was seated next to the smallest of the kids in one of the chairs, Roy and Wally were by the kitchen, the oldest of the kids was in a feral crouch next to Wolf, and the other three were tickling Rob.

Connor quickly decided that this had to the strangest day so far at Mount Justice, and it had only just begun.

** -YJ-YJ-YJ-**

**E/N: So, Megan and Connor have (sort of) met the other Bats, and Stephanie was added in. Initially, I wasn't going to include her, but then I looked into her character a little more and couldn't resist. (And yes, Roy and Wally did just forget about her due to the craziness of the invading Bats.) And Damian managed to make Wally like him even less (then again, it's Damian, so he doesn't care).**

**(1)Fans of Stephanie Brown/Spoiler were encouraged to send in letters and waffles as a show of support for the character to get DC to add her back into the comics. **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: In which Wally is far from comforted, the Bats troll on the League, Jason and Dick have more than a small sibling rivalry going, and Damian proves to be even scarier than an angry Batman.**

**Oh, and Jason made me bump up the rating so he could use the language he was used to from living on the streets.**

**-YJ-YJ-YJ-**

Kaldur would be lying if he said that he was not immediately confused upon entering the cave. In his defense, it was very hard to be prepared for a ten year old who tackled you and held a rubber knife to your neck.

"Jason Todd, you get off of Aqualad this instant!" Dick shouted, dragging the younger boy off the Atlantean. "Sorry about that, Kaldur. Jason and I were playing a game of Ninja Tag Bat-kids style, and I might have accidentally forgotten to tell him that you would be showing up soon."

"And you say I'm smooth," Wally said with a grin.

"At least I'm not the one running away from a three year old."

"Every single time I'm around, he tries to kill me! Correct me if I'm wrong, Dick, but your baby brother seems like a budding sociopath!" Wally shouted.

"Wally, if Damian was trying to kill you, you'd be dead," Dick said, deadpanning.

Wally just stared, and Kaldur took the time to go ask one of the others about the whole situation. Only Jason noticed when he left.

Dick sighed. "Look, there was this one idiot that broke into the Manor one time with a gun, and he made the mistake of putting his hand down on Damian's tray while aiming the gun at Alfred. Jason, you remember that, don't you?"

The pink haired boy thought for a moment before cracking up. "You mean when Damian literally stabbed his fork through the guy's hand and about a quarter-inch into the tray? The guy freaked out, dropped his gun, we each chucked one of the dish-covers at him, and Alfred scolded him for getting blood on the high chair?"

"Oh, are you talking about Idiot Fork Hand?" Stephanie asked, skipping into the room. "I remember that! Damian pitched a fit and bit the Commish when he said that the fork had to be bagged for evidence."

"…if this is your attempt to make me feel better, it's not working," Wally said.

"Look, if Damian was really trying to hurt you, you'd be hurt. Seriously hurt," Dick explained tiredly. He _still_ hadn't got his nap, after all… "He doesn't hate you, he just…"

"Damian has a hard time showing proper affection," Jason offered. He turned to Stephanie. "Brown, aren't you watching Cain?"

"I was, but, um… Dick, Cassie… She disappeared. Again," Stephanie admitted. "I only turned my back for like, two seconds, and then she was gone! And, you know, since you're the other proper ninja, I was hoping you could find her?"

Dick groaned. "Wally, can you explain to Kaldur the situation while I go find Cass? Thanks."

"Come to think of it, Grayson doesn't have the best people skills either," Jason remarked to Wally when Dick took off without confirmation that Wally would help him out. "Oh, and don't let Wayne hear that you called his kid a budding sociopath, even if it is true."

-YJ-

Dick sighed as he glanced around the training room. After this he had one place left where his sister might be, but he wasn't exactly keen to go crawling through air vents.

Cassandra must have been watching him and picked on that, because she suddenly and silently was next to him, little arms hugged around his torso.

"Don't do that," Dick chastened. Cassandra smiled at him and quickly signed _'Sorry.' _(1) "Yeah, I know. Just… Roy's here to keep an eye on you guys, so don't make it difficult for him, alright?" _'Okay. You look tired.' _

_"Recognizing Green Arrow 08. Recognizing Black Canary 13." _

"Uncle Ollie! Aunt Dinah!" Stephanie shouted from the teleports, Dick and Cass entering the room in time to see the nine year old tackling the other two blondes in a hug. "Are you here about Dad and Selina? 'Cause the wedding was so sweet, even if Dad wanted it to be small so not to attract the public eye. He didn't tell us about until two days before, though, even though he'd been engaged for a month! And I dunno how good a mom Selina's gonna be, because Dad sent us _here_ after only a day! And-"

"Brown, you might want to stop to breath," Jason suggested with his trademark smirk. "Queen. Lance. On record, I would just like to say that I highly doubt Wayne would have told us about the wedding at all if not for the fact that Kyle pulled one over on him by letting Grayson see her engagement while out on patrol." Jason paused, staring. "Oh, and the Junior League can know our secret IDs now."

"Jason, for the last time, you are _not_ old enough to be a superhero," Dick said, exasperated. "I don't care you have a costume and a name, no patrolling until your thirteen, remember?"

"You were going out on at patrol when you were eight!"

"Only because I became Robin without Bruce knowing what I had planned, saved his life, helped to catch Zucco, and met Commissioner Gordon all in one night!" (2)

"Yeah, but he didn't make you quit!"

"After a run-in with Two-Face he certainly tried to!" (3)

_"Recognizing Superman 01." _(4)

"Like hell he did! You just get to run around because of all your fancy-pants techno-trickery and those stupid flips and jumps you can pull off!"

"Jason, you can ask him or Alfred if you don't believe me, and my hacking and acrobatics has nothing to do with it! Bruce just doesn't want you to get hurt because you didn't have enough training or because you rush into something without thinking! Face facts, Jay, you aren't ready to become a vigilante!"

"Oh, but _you_ were at eight years old?"

"Did Bruce push them off onto us because he got married or because he didn't want to have to separate those two?" Superman asked quietly. Both Green Arrow and Black Canary shrugged, but Stephanie and Cassandra exchanging thoughtful looks.

"No, I wasn't exactly, but we aren't operating under the same circumstances here, Jason! Now do you really want to have to through everything I did to reach this point, or are you willing to just stop being such a thickheaded idiot and admit that you still need training?"

"Oh, just shut the hell up, Grayson! You're always thinking you're so great, but guess what! You, you… Gah!"

Superman had been deliberating stepping in and stopping Dick and Jason from fighting when the next thing he knew, something sharp had collided with his shin, and because of both the force behind and the sheer fact he hadn't been expecting it, he fell down.

Needless to say, that got everyone's attention. Especially when the culprit was revealed to be a very cheerful Damian who was now repeatedly stabbing Superman shoulder, although he seemed just a little annoyed by the fact that it wasn't doing anything.

Onyx, who had been hiding in the shadows, came running up out of nowhere and leapt up onto Dick's shoulder, purring as she rubbed against his face, and Wally, who had run into the room due to the commotion, could have sworn that the little tuxedo cat had winked at Oliver and Dinah.

Of course, Roy had to choose that moment to burst in, stare awkwardly at his former mentor, and then explain that Tim was trying to use the kitchen and a frog that he had captured from somewhere outside for some kind of biology experiment.

Dick just groaned and wondered if Superman hadn't been entirely wrong when he had suggested that Bruce had sent them to the Cave in order to give himself a break.

**-YJ-YJ-YJ-**

**E/N: So… This chapter kinda got away from me a little bit. Still, I like it. It stays defining the chaos that I'm trying to show happening if the Bats invade the Cave. **

**(1)- Technically, Cass never learned how to speak, read, write, or use sign language, but let's pretend that she learned the latter three after being taken by Batman.**

**(2)- I used Robin's first outing from "The Batman" 2005 TV series here, seeing as it was the first thing that came to mind.**

**(3)- ****_Robin: Year One_**** comic. Two-Face nearly killed Rob, and Bats tried his hardest to take the mantle away from our little bird. Obviously, it didn't work.**

**(4)- In the show, they never tell us Superman's designation number. But since Batman is 02, then it makes sense for Superman to be 01.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: In which Dick finally gets his nap, Onyx proves herself as the Bat-Kitty, and reinforcements are called in.**

**PS: Another slight "The Batman" crossover here. Sorry, couldn't resist.**

**-YJ-YJ-YJ-**

Dick sighed deeply. "Damian, off Superman, now. Roy, tell Tim that he's still grounded from doing experiments for another week. Steph, Cass, why don't you two go find a movie to watch with Dami. Jay, if you really think you're ready to go on patrol, then maybe we can go check out Happy Harbor at some point this summer, ok?"

Jason frowned, contemplating that. "…fine."

"Oh, good idea!" Stephanie said, stepping forward to pick up Damian, only to have him swipe at her with his knife.

Roy hesitated only for a moment before going to relay what he had been told to Tim.

Superman really wasn't sure of what he should do. Sure, the kid technically wasn't hurting anything (ok, maybe he would need a new suit after this), but it was a little annoying. Still, he wasn't sure he wanted to face an angry Batman if he accidentally hurt one of the Bat-kids.

With a groan, Dick stepped forward, easily taking the knife from Damian. "Come on, Little D. Movie time."

"Down, G'ayson," Damian basically ordered, but Dick ignored him. "Movie stupid."

"Sorry, Dami, not up for debate," Dick said, setting the kid down on the couch. "Besides, kids watch movies."

That caused Damian to scowl, but his mother _had_ told him that he was supposed to be acting like a normal child, so he had little choice but to let it go.

"Dude, it's not even lunchtime, and…" Wally said, trailing off as he tried to recall everything that had occurred.

"Artemis freaked out at my secret ID, apologized, and then had to go back home for a while, M'gann and Conner decided to go on a date to avoid getting caught in the cross-fire, Kaldur went back to Atlantis after grabbing something," Dick started rattling off, "Roy realized that my siblings are a bigger pain than he thought and narrowly avoided getting strangled, you got stabbed twice in the hand and have dubbed Damian as the 'DemonBat', which, by the way, Steph says should be his new hero name, so enjoy explaining that to Bruce, Jason managed to make me look like an idiot in front of BC and GA, Superman's probably more than a little freaked out now, Cass went and hide in the vents before coming out when she noticed that I was tired, Tim's trying to experiment again, and there is no way I can handle everything, especially since none of the others except for Tim and maybe Cass will listen to you guys."

"Exactly, dude," Wally said. "Did we do something to tick Bats off?"

"No, but I'm being to wonder if he didn't set this up on purpose," Dick said, although some the effect was lost when he was unable to hold back a yawn. "I'm so not feeling the aster. I've been up since two in the morning after maybe half an hour of sleep, and I'm completely exhausted. Hey, would somebody who isn't tired be 'hausted'?"

"Ow! Grayson! The demon spawn just bit me!" Jason shouted from in front of the TV.

Dick sighed and walked over, scooping Damian up. "Dami, we talk about biting people…"

"Was mean!" Damian protested. "Besides, no like Todd. Like you, G'ayson." (1)

"I don't care if you like him or not, you can't just go biting people!" Dick protested. "Now for that, you're taking a nap."

Damian was about to protest when he noticed the dark circles under his brother's eyes. "You stay?"

"I dunno, Dami…"

Stephanie, who had also noticed how tired Dick was, leapt into the conversation. "Oh, you know he won't stay down if you don't! Besides, we're watching a movie!"

Cassandra quickly was signing her opinion. _'We'll be good. Promise. Besides, I can totally take Jason if he tries something.' _(2)

"Alright," Dick sighed, knowing he wouldn't win. "Come on, Dami. Nap-time."

"Stay."

"Yeah, I'm staying, Little D."

-YJ-

A little over an hour later, Dick woke up to what sounded a lot like a fight in the living room. Carrying the still drowsy Damian, he couldn't say he was too surprised at the scene that greeted him.

Jason and Cassandra were in an all-out brawl, the eight year old's face angered but every one of her movements perfectly controlled. Jason, on the other hand, was equally as angry but instead was just reacting on that anger.

Stephanie glanced up at Dick, and when he wordlessly held Damian out to her, she took the toddler from his without comment, noticing that his expression was one of utter annoyance and irritation.

Dick crouched, rocking on his heels, but before he could move, Onyx had beat him to the punch, racing in from the kitchen and quickly scratching both Bats before hissing angrily at the pair of them and then stalking over to where Dick was standing, although she stilled seemed to be glaring at the ten and eight year olds.

Wally was the first to break the silence. "Dude, you didn't tell me that she's the Bat-Kitty!"

Half a dozen pairs of eyes were on him, questioning his sanity. "Hey, I've only ever seen you and B break up a fight between those two."

"Wally has a point," Black Canary admitted, startling everyone except Dick and Damian because no one else had known that she was there. "I just thought that I pass on my congratulations to Bruce and Selina, along with a pending invitation to have Catwoman join the League. Most everyone is agreeing that she has the right to be included if she wants to now, although Superman may take a little time to see sense."

"Well that's nothing new," Dick shot back, hoping that Canary got the hint and would pass it along.

Dinah smiled. "Well, I'll be seeing you guys around. There won't be any training for about a week or so, just don't go making me regret that. Oh, and I'll be taking over mission assignments as well this summer." With that, she headed back to the zeta tubes.

Dick quickly followed her. "Hey, is it alright if I get Batgirl (3) here to help out? No offense to Roy or anything, but she's helped me babysit a few times, and they'll actually listen to her, so…"

"If she can help keep the Cave standing, be my guest," Black Canary said. "And if Bats asks, we'll just tell him the truth; that I gave you permission."

"Thanks, BC."

Black Canary just smiled before stepping into the zeta tube. _"Recognizing Black Canary 13."_

Dick just smiled before heading back to his room to get his cell phone. After dialing the by now familiar number, it rang twice before being answered. _"Barbara speaking."_

"Hey Babs."

_"Dick?! Oo, you troll me like that and have the nerve to call me? Where the heck _are_ you, anyway?"_

"Remember that team I told you about? Yeah, we kinda invaded the hideout."

_"..are you honestly calling me to tell me that you get to spend the summer at some super-secret Justice League hide-out?"_

"Well… Yes and no. See, I was kinda hoping you could do me a big favor. Is there any chance you could get your dad to come help me watch my siblings? Obviously, tell him we're at some mountain chalet for the summer, but really, it'd be here at Mount Justice."

_"Wait, isn't that that mountain in Happy Harbor that was the JL's original HQ?"_

"Mm-hmm."

_"And all I have to do is help watch the other Bats?"_

"And try not to get any fights with League members or my teammates."

_"…hang on for a minute."_

"Hanging." Unfortunately for Dick, he had always had a bit of a short attention span, so when Barbara spoke again, he had been in the middle of a hand-spring. "Ow!"

_"My dad said I can come help… You were trying some trick and just fell on your face again, didn't you?"_

"Of course not! Now, there's an old telephone booth with an 'out of order' sign…"

-YJ-

"Good news, Roy," Dick said with a grin. "I called in back-up."

"Back-up?"

"…do not tell me you went and got _Gordon_ involved!" Jason shouted, knowing full well who dick considered 'back-up'.

"Sorry, Jaybird," Dick said, although he didn't sound the least bit sincere with his apology. "But since she's one of two people you'll actually listen to…"

_"Recognizing Batgirl A16." _(4)

"Guys, this is Batgirl, AKA Barbara Gordon," Dick said with a flourish towards the older teen. "Babs… Well, actually, I think Roy's the only one you haven't met yet."

"Dog!" Damian suddenly shouted, squirming madly as he reached for Wolf, who had shown up for the first time that day. "Dog!"

"…yeah, looks like you really could use my help here."

**-YJ-YJ-YJ-**

**E/N: So, um, yeah… If you didn't like anything, either deal with it because I take artistic license a far bit, or stop reading. Besides asking for no flaming, that's all I have to say. **

**(1)- Apparently, Damian hates everyone except Bruce and Dick. (Yeah, the kid doesn't like Alfred. I was shocked, too)**

**(2)- Cassandra was trained to be the perfect assassin, and even though in the headcanon for this Bruce took her in when she was six, she still got enough training to trump growing up on the street. At least, that's the headcanon, and I'm sticking to it.**

**(3)- I took the Batgirl from "The Batman", so she's like, two, three years older than Dick and was technically working with the Bat first.**

**(4)- They never officially gave BG a designation in YJ, so I made her one of the 'A's with her hypothetical 'B' number. Because, come on, she's a Bat. Even if Bruce doesn't want both his 'partners' (*cough cough* sidekicks *cough cough*) on the team, he'd give her a number anyway, just to be safe. **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: In which Damian makes a friend, Artemis is more than a little annoyed, Barbara proves rather valuable to maintaining sanities, and Dick does some serious trolling by hacking the League computer and planning a surprise.**

**In other news, this is far too much fun to write. Damian especially so. For some reason, I just really like writing the little demon spawn.**

**-YJ-YJ-YJ-**

Wolf just froze in the doorway, seemingly confused by Damian's squealing.

Stephanie grunted when the kid promptly kicked in the stomach and escaped her grasp, the toddler rushing over to stare at Wolf with awe. "Dog. Good dog." Before anyone could stop him, he had reached a hand up and started petting the white mutant.

Whatever caution Wolf would have exhibited toward the child was quickly forgotten as he leaned into the petting, his tail wagging slightly.

"I don't believe it," Barbara murmured in awe. "Damian actually behaving like a normal child…"

"He likes dogs for some reason," Dick commented. "I still haven't gotten a clear cut answer as to why, though." (1)

_"Recognizing Artemis B07."_

"Back already?" Dick asked, grinning. Sure, he was probably going to get another earful from the archer for this, but he had yet to learn how to say 'no' to a trolling opportunity.

"Yeah, I just ha- Dammit, Dick!" Artemis shouted, glaring at the now sniggering acrobat. "Would it kill you to stop trolling and just tell me these things so I don't make myself look like an idiot?!"

Dick adopted a posture that made it seem like he was truly puzzling over that, causing Artemis to swipe at him with her bow. With a cackle, Dick did a quick back handspring to avoid it. "Look on the bright side, Arty. Now you know all the Bats. Well, all the ones Bruce is charge of the secret identity-keeping of, because there still is Batwoman and the Question…"

"Whoa whoa, time out," Wally said, a bag of chips in one hand. "There's a _Batwoman_?"

"Yep," Dick said. "Her and the Question, and I'm quoting them here, 'are partners in every way'. (2) But, you know, they do their own gig, and Bats and I can respect that."

"…didn't you say that the Question is a girl too?"

"Mm-hmm."

"…_in Gotham?_"

"It's not public," Dick said. "At least, not at the moment…"

Roy took this time to voice his opinion on the matter. "Your city is messed up."

"Oh, you don't even know the half of it!" Barbara said with a laugh.

-YJ-

"Demon spawn, you're going to regret doing that…" Jason said, wiping the tickle of blood off his upper lip.

Damian, who had kicked Jason in the nose and then flipped away from his, just scoffed. "Tch. Idiot."

Jason glared. "Alright, that's it!"

Damian grinned savagely, the fact that he was maybe half as tall as Jason not deterring him. (3)

Before either of them could do anything, Onyx had jumped of the couch and swatted Jason with her claws extended, letting Damian off with a warning hiss.

Before Jason could get his hands on the cat to throw her into the nearest wall, Dick appeared in the doorway. "You wouldn't be fighting with Dami now, would you, Baby Jay?"

"Of course not! And I am not a baby!" Jason growled, flopping down on the couch. "Damn Grayson, and that stupid cat of his, too."

"I heard that."

"You were supposed to, dumbass!"

"G'ayson, Todd swea'ing…" Damian said, walking over and holding his arms out to be picked up.

"Yes, he is," Dick said, complying with the order, although the thought that he was pampering the would-be-assassin did cross his mind. "Now come on. Cass wanted to show you something."

-YJ-

"Dick?"

"Yes, Timmy?" Dick asked, picking up the seven year old and ignoring the faint scowl at his action. _Tim, you had better learn quickly that I am a very tactile person, and I __**will **__hug you and such quite a bunch in the future… _

"Do I really have to wait a week to experiment?"

"Sorry, Tim, but Bruce said you did," Dick said.

Barbara's brow furrowed as she tried to think of something helpful, and an idea struck her. "Hey, Wally. I think it's time for the 'Speedster Express' to make another run."

"Huh?" Wally asked. He followed her gaze to Tim, eyes lighting up in comprehension. "Oh. Yeah! Hey, Tim! Want another Flash-style piggy-back ride?"

"Sure!" Tim said, and Dick did have to wonder just what about _Wally_ was so cling-inviting, because he could _never_ get Tim to do the same at home. _Then again, maybe he doesn't Bat-style as much as he does Flash-style…_

"Thanks, Babs," Dick said. Honestly, he was beginning to have new respect for Alfred; the man did this on a daily basis as if it was nothing!

"No prob, shrimp." (4)

"Hey!"

-YJ-

Barry Allen, AKA the Flash, was bored. He _wanted_ to go talk to his 'other nephew', Dick (5), but instead he was stuck on stupid monitor duty!

Normally, that would have annoyed him to no end, but he didn't get a chance to be annoyed before an alarm went off, was promptly silenced, and a message popped up on the screen.

Flash blinked. _Since when do we have a messaging system? _Still, he was a speedster, and speedsters were known for being impatient, rash, and impulsive. He clicked on the message.

_Dear League, _was typed at the top in some fancy, loopy font, and Barry knew who it was from without reading any further. Still…

_Dear League,_

_On behalf of the other B-kids and the team (some of them, anyway), I would like to formally invite you to a wedding reception for Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle at Mount Justice on the 1__st__ of July. _

_Sincerely, _

_Dick Grayson AKA Robin the Boy Wonder _

_PS- No, Bruce (and to a lesser extent, Selina, but I'm not worried about her) doesn't know. He wouldn't show up if he did._

_PPS- Yes, Clark, you have to come. And you _will_ play nice with Superboy!_

"Ohmygod! Ollie, you aren't gonna _believe_ that Dick just did/is doing…"

-YJ-

"Did you just hack the Justice League again?" Roy asked.

"Maybe," Dick said, grinning, which caused Roy to frown.

"What did you do?"

"Oh, nothing much… Just made sure they were aware of the reception on July 1st here at the Cave."

"What reception?" _Please, don't tell me…_

"Bruce's and Selina's wedding reception!"

_…he did._

**-YJ-YJ-YJ-**

**E/N: Raise your hands if you can totally see Dick actually doing that.**

**(1)- Bruce got Damian a dog in one of the comics to try and teach him compassion and stuff, so I made him a dog-person.**

**(2)- No joke. Direct quote from…somebody, on their relationship.**

**(3)- It's ****_Damian_****. I think that speaks for itself.**

**(4)- Yes, Babs is a gymnast. Yes, as a gymnast, she's going to be small herself. But what people (DC) tend to forget is that Dick is an acrobat too, so he's also ****_going to be small_****. (Just what were they thinking when they made him 5'10" in the comics?!) And since he's younger than her, he's probably smaller.**

**(5)- Wally and Dick are best friends, so Dick has probably spent enough time around Barry that there's a relationship similar to Wally's and Barry's between them.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: In which Dick's sanity is heavily questioned, Jason only has one Bat-kid left to get into a fight with, Onyx is quickly making it clear what her self-appointed job is, plans are made, and Roy realizes Tim is a rather wise seven year old and that, apparently, Arrows are about as good at Bats at saying what they really mean. Which is not at all.**

** …for once, Vyne (my muse, who is basically a female version of Damian combined with Jason and superpowers) and I agree upon something. And that is that this story has taken upon a life of its own.**

**-YJ-YJ-YJ-**

"YOU DID WHAT?!"

That's the first thing Megan, Conner, and Kaldur hear when they return to the Cave. More surprising than the fact that someone's shouting, though, is the fact that it's Wally. And he was yelling at Dick.

"Dude, you just signed your own death warrant!" Wally continued, completely oblivious to his teammates who had just entered the room and had varying levels of confusion on their faces. "Barbara, Roy, tell him he's being stupid!"

"Wally has a point," Barbara said, looking rather pale. "Bruce… Well, let's just hope that since it's _you_, he might not actually kill you."

"What's that supposed to mean? Oh, hey guys! Look, explain to these guys that Bats _isn't_ going to come after me because I'm setting up a wedding reception for him and Selina," Dick said.

Kaldur was visibly taken aback, Megan looked horrified, and even Conner had a look of apprehension on his face. "If you have not finished setting it up, I suggest this be one plan you do not carry through, my friend," Kaldur finally said.

"But I already invited the Justice League!" Dick protested.

"…I'd call the undertaker now, but I want to be sure there's a body," Roy said, dead serious.

The next second, Wally, Barbara, and Roy all had their shins kicked by Damian. The three year old then proceeded to walk over to Dick and cling to his leg. "My G'ayson. _Mine_."

"Ok, maybe Grayson actually stands a chance at living," Jason piped up. "I'm not sure Wayne can resist the combined effect of the Golden Boy _and_ the Demon Spawn. Of course, Eggplant Waffle will probably jump in and tip the scales if worst comes to worst…"

"What did you just call me?" Stephanie asked, glaring at Jason.

"Eggplant Waffle. Seriously, what exactly is your stupid fascination with those disgusting things?" Jason asked. "And you can't blame me for _your_ costume color."

Stephanie's eyes went wide, and for a moment, she seemed to be in shock. Just for a moment, though, because then she had leapt forward and was promptly unleashing a reign of fury on Jason. "Take it back! Take it back!"

"Ow! Take what back?" Jason asked, trying and failing to block the blows.

"That waffles are disgusting!"

With a snarl that sounded just a bit exasperated to Dick, Onyx came out of nowhere (again) and quickly had broken up the fight through use of her claws and hissing (again).

_'She's a mediator kitty!' _Cassandra excitedly signed. She clapped her hands together and giggled in her quiet manner. _'Selina's going to be so proud.'_

"Jason, apologize to Stephanie," Barbara said. When the ten year old glared at her, she just glared back. "I said, apologize to Stephanie."

"Sorry, Brown," Jason said at last, although he sounded more annoyed than actually apologetic. "Now do I have to apologize for calling Grayson a moronic idiot with a death wish?"

"No, because he is one."

"Oh, come on! I know what I'm doing!" … "Way to have faith in me, guys."

-YJ-

"Yeah, Alfred, everything's cool."

_"That was not what Miss Gordon said, Master Dick."_

"Babs is just being paranoid. I'm beginning to think it's necessary if you have 'Bat' in your name."

_"So the stories I've heard that you are planning a surprise reception for Master Bruce and Mistress Selina are false, then?" _(1)

"…well, not exactly, no…"

_"I had assumed as much. May I offer a piece of advice, Master Dick?"_

"Does it really matter whether or not I say no?"

_"From my personal experience, it may be wise to tell Mistress Selina of your plans. She isn't the biggest fan of these types of surprises."_

"…Alfred, you are the most awesome butler _ever_!"

_"I'm pleased to hear that you think so highly of me, Master Dick. And please remind Master Jason that he said he would be on his best behavior, not his worst."_

"Will do, Alfie. Will do."

-YJ-

"I told you Bats wouldn't kill me," Dick said, startling Wally, who had heard the fourteen year old enter the room.

"Um, dude… Correct me if I'm wrong, but the reception hasn't happened yet," Wally said, extremely confused.

"No, but I was talking to Alfred, and he suggested that I make sure Selina knows ahead of time," Dick said, grinning. "And since its Alfred, then I can be sure I have nothing to worry about."

"…I'm not getting out of this, am I?" Wally asked, knowing that Dick wanted his help with planning the reception.

"Nope."

"Fine… But on record, I'm doing this under protest," Wally said.

Dick just laughed. "Protest noted and ignored."

-YJ-

"You don't like Uncle Ollie much, do you?' Tim asked, startling Roy who had almost forgotten how perceptive the second youngest Bat-kid was. Still, the kid was only seven, so Roy figured that actually talking to him about it wasn't the best of ideas.

"What makes you say that?"

"You hesitated to do anything once you say him when you asked Dick what to do when I was trying to experiment," Tim stated matter-of-factly.

"How…?" Roy asked, confused.

"I was in the kitchen, not outside," Tim said. "And you're avoiding the question."

Roy stared in disbelief. Tim just stared right back with a determined look on his face. Belatedly, Roy remembered why he had made a vow not to get into a staring contest with a Bat. "Fine. You win."

"So why don't you like him anymore?" Tim asked. "You did last time you came to the Manor."

"We got into a fight," Roy explained carefully. "Ollie… He didn't think I was ready to be doing certain things. He was still treating me like a kid, and I was sick of it. So I quit as Speedy and became Red Arrow."

"But if you were mad at him, then why did you copy him?"

Roy froze, staring at the kid. "Wha…?"

"Uncle Ollie's Green Arrow," Tim said. "You said that you were calling yourself Red Arrow now. You copied him. How come? Were you trying to prove that you were his equal? 'Cause if so, that's not ever gonna work. Uncle Ollie's your dad. And last year when you just disappeared on him, he was freaking out a little bit." (2)

"Really."

"Yeah. He made Dad pull up your tracker location and everything!" Tim shouted.

"What?" Roy asked. For a moment, he just sat there, absorbing the fact that Ollie had actually worried. At least, until the last part truly clicked in his mind. "Wait, tracker?" (3)

**-YJ-YJ-YJ-**

**E/N: Next chapter will finally end this day (you guys did realize that it has been less than a day, right?), and then I'll probably skip ahead to either right before or the reception itself. I do have other plots, after all…**

**(1)- I don't know for certain if that's how Alfred would address a married woman, but it's what we're going with, kapeesh?**

**(2)- Personal YJ Headcanon #103: Ollie wasn't happy when Roy ran off after quitting as Speedy. My back-up for this? The fact that Roy really had no reason to get mad at GA, seeing as Ollie wasn't the one who was saying that the 'sidekicks'-**

**Roy: What did I say about calling us sidekicks!**

**-sorry, 'partners' couldn't visit the Watchtower in the first episode… That was all Bats. Ollie was trying to push ****_for_**** it, remember?**

**(3)- Personal YJ Headcanon #79: Batman has trackers on (*cough* in *cough cough*) everyone. Even Superman, the Martian Manhunter, and Hal Jordan. (And according to my research, Bats doesn't like Hal Jordan. At all.) Therefore, he would have ones for each and every one of the 'kids' as well. **


End file.
